Bias for Compassion
The idea that empathy is a critical skill for leaders has been on the rise for a while. There are several excellent management books on…
The idea that empathy is a critical skill for leaders has been on the rise for a while. There are several excellent management books on this topic, which I think is closely related to the idea of servant leadership.
I like to think that empathy lies on a spectrum from indifference to selflessness. This range indicates the extent to which we’re able to put the needs of others on footing that feels as solid as our own.
When I think about the (many) times that I have lacked empathy, it was because I was consumed by my own needs and blinded to others’.
In empathic moments, I’m able to clearly understand someone else’s needs, and I can even think of ways to make my goals compatible with theirs.
Recently I’ve come upon the idea that there can be no empathy without vulnerability.
It’s harder for me to engage someone with empathy if they’re not inclined to reveal their feelings. And I’ll be understood much better when I make myself vulnerable by revealing my own thoughts and emotions.
For employees, this is too often a one-way street. Many are willing to be open and honest about their needs, but have no expectation that their own vulnerability will be reciprocated by their leaders.
I have found that I’m able to build deeper, more meaningful connections with my teams when I make myself vulnerable. I feel more understood by them when I by share my goals and motivations candidly, and revealing that I have actual feelings and emotions.
I have also noticed that our cultural models for leadership are often coded with masculine ideas about confidence, assertiveness, decisiveness, and a “bias for action.” Do any of these rhyme with vulnerability or empathy for you? Surprise: Our stereotypes suck.
I can think of a few ways that we can work together to resist the influence of those outworn factory-era ideas about what leaders look and sound like.
One very fun way is to recognize leaders who are successful but don’t comport with outdated leadership stereotypes.
So let’s recognize the people you work with today who practice a thoughtful, empathetic leadership style. Let’s call them “Leaders with bias for compassion.” Tag them in the comments, or just tell us about them. You’ll be inspiring us with proof that amazing leaders like these really exist!
Role models of any gender are welcome, because they prove that a diverse workplace is a kinder, more compassionate workplace, and a better place to make your career.