Everyday Heroes
Everyday Heroes
A few stories of regular people doing amazing things
My favorite work stories are about people who speak up for themselves in a moment where it really mattered.
When it happens, I am reminded of something that’s easy to forget.
Who will keep us safe at work? Not our parents, nor our spouses, not our partners, kids, or families. Not our friends, not our coaches, not our HR pros, nor our managers. Not our pastor, our rabbis, nor our imams will do it for us.
We have to do it for ourselves. That can be hard, and it’s harder still for people who lack privilege, experience, wealth, or equity in our culture.
People do it anyway, and they do it every day. That’s why I’m sharing these two stories of my everyday heroes1.
Patty & Emma
Patty is a manager in Customer Support, and Patty loves kids. One day the CEO Blake brought their toddler Emma to the office, and Patty and Emma played with blocks in the café. They made fast friends while Blake was talking to the marketing folks.
This scenes repeated many times, perhaps once or twice a month. Patty sometimes had to scramble to make time for Emma in the middle of a busy day, but she didn’t see how she could say “no” to the CEO.
Patty didn’t start loving Emma any less, but the situation was starting to make her feel terrible. She’d worked hard to get where she was, and it felt like Blake was treating her like a babysitter instead of someone responsible for handling hundreds of their most important customers.
One day Blake came to visit Patty in her office. “Hey there, Patty, my partner and I were wondering if you wanted to come by our house this weekend.” Patty replied “Oh! Are we talking about lunch, or dinner?” Blake: “Nothing that fancy! We have a meeting with our interior designer and we thought you might like to play with Emma for an hour or so.”
Patty took a breath. It was clear that a line had been crossed, and she needed it to be for the last time. “Blake, come into my office for a minute. Sit down, let me close the door.”
Patty explained that she loved Emma and she was so glad they’d made such fast friends. “When I’m at work I need to focus on work. That’s why you hired me, right? That’s why I’m here. I’ll always be thrilled to say hi to Emma when she drops by. I sure do appreciate the invitation, but let’s keep our relationship focused on our business together. I do know a great babysitter you could call.”
There are a many different ways to handle a situation like this. Not everybody will feel safe enough to do what Patty did, and that sucks, because everybody should feel safe setting boundaries that ensure they can do their work professionally, appropriately.
Patty did that in a way that felt safe for her. To me, that makes her a hero.
Super People
Katrina is a slayer, but not the vampire kind. She’s the kind who seems to slay at pretty much everything we throw at her.
She started out at the company as Social Media Marketing Coordinator. In her second month on the job, she made a product demo video at home over the weekend. The bosses loved it and they posted it to the company’s YouTube account. It went viral overnight, and is still racking up millions of views.
Later when the firm’s content producer went back to school, Katrina’s role was expanded. She’d now be creating all the content, in addition to managing it. This didn’t come with a raise, strangely, although her title did get bumped to “Senior Social Media Marketing Coordinator.”
The bosses were always looking for her to create more content. No matter how ambitious the ask, Katrina always managed to pull a rabbit out of her hat.
Over the Summer, the Marketing boss asked for a new series of videos planned for monthly release. Katrina said “Sounds great, boss!” She somehow managed to fit in this additional work, although it did require her to essentially cut her friends and family out of her life. Katrina knuckled down and laughed it off, hoping that eventually she’d be recognized and rewarded.
The videos were successful, and the VP asked for the release schedule to be moved up to every week. Around the same time, they also asked Katrina if she could take over the company’s monthly newsletter. Before she could think the better of it, she answered “Sure, no prob!”
Katrina was growing exhausted and starting to struggle to make the ever-tightening deadlines. She asked if she could hire a freelancer to help with editing the copy. The bosses said that there wasn’t room in the budget, and perfect copy wasn’t the top priority right now.
The was only one problem. Katrina was turning into a vampire, herself. She was working at least 12 hours nearly every day, plus solid half-days every weekend. At one point she realized she hadn’t had a day off in two months.
During a 1:1 she asked her manager about her prospects for a promotion and raise. The manager said this was something they could take up in the annual review process — now only 7 months away. Katrina was getting nothing but praise for her work, and it seemed that the praise was about all she could get.
On a Tuesday in October her manager Casey appeared at Katrina’s desk. “I have some news!” Casey said, and revealed that the person who’d been managing the company’s web site was going to be out for 6 months on a family leave. “We thought you might like to take it over, Katrina. You’ve just been amazing with all of this content work, and it’s a great opportunity to show the management what you can do before your annual review in April.”
“Amazing!” Katrina said. “Before we get into this, Casey, let’s step into this conference room for a minute. Have a seat. Let me close the door.”
Katrina said that she’d love to continue growing in her career with the company, and she’s glad to know her impact has been noticed. “For me to continue doing that, I need to make sure I’m taking care of myself and my career. That means that I need a real promotion that addresses how my role has changed. I can keep on giving everything I have been if we can hire a junior for me, and I can gain some experience as a manager. Does that sound reasonable to you?”
That was Katrina’s way of saying “no.” There’s rarely an easy way to do it, but she did it in a way that felt right for her. She recognized that the best time to start a conversation like this with your boss is not when you’re just about to snap.
Out of Boundaries
In our hierarchical culture, people are rarely praised for setting and maintaining boundaries that enable them to do a great job, live a healthy life, and learn and grow in their career. Though these accomplishments may not be called out, I’ve noticed that many of the most successful people I know got there, in part, by doing exactly that.
It’s easy for someone who looks like me to encourage you to draw the lines in a safe and sane place. It’s much harder for people from marginalized communities, those in career transition, people with differing abilities, neurodivergent people, and many others.
To all of you, I hope you’ll find the way to set and keep your boundaries at work in a way that feels safe for you. If you need my help, I’m here.
These are composites and fictionalizations of my clients, colleagues, and friends.