Good Bad Feedback
Delivering “constructive” or negative feedback is difficult work for a manager. But what matters is that it gets done, and it gets done…
Delivering “constructive” or negative feedback is difficult work for a manager. But what matters is that it gets done, and it gets done well.
Managers have a duty of care for their people. This means taking some responsibility for their well-being at work. It’s a privileged position for which we are rewarded with greater influence and higher pay.
From this privileged position, if I say that giving constructive criticism “is hard,” I sound entitled to the benefits of my station but burdened by the responsibilities. That’s lame. If I don’t want the job, plenty of others will be happy to have it.
Conversations about job performance are high-stakes. Anxiety and suspense does not help them go well.
At the very beginning of a performance conversation, I want to reduce anxiety by reducing suspense.
I do this by telling the person how the conversation is going to turn out.
“I want to share some feedback about your work. Not all of it is positive, but the issues are not what I’d consider to be serious. My goal with this conversation is to encourage you to make some adjustments. Nothing bad is happening. Ok?”
or
“I need to share some feedback about your work, some of it is pretty tough. After we discuss the feedback, I’m going to describe the plan we’ll use to measure your progress over the next three months. This will determine whether we’re able to keep you in this role. Make sense?”
These are abbreviated examples! I’ll spend as much time as necessary on the agenda and the outcome.
To be clear: It is not acceptable for somebody to spend time worrying or wondering if they’re being fired. Don’t assume that’s clear until you’ve made it explicit.
Also, I must not “save up” my feedback, as though I’m waiting until I’ve accumulated what is certain to be a lethal dose. I’ve had this done to me, and it was terrible. Yet I have done the same stupid thing to other people.
So I try to deliver feedback when it’s fresh, and I limit myself to the most concise agenda possible.
I once received detailed and nuanced constructive criticism from a manager who started out by describing some of the ways that they had contributed to the performance issues they wanted me to improve. This felt amazing!
I’ll also ask the person to tell me how they feel I might have contributed to the performance issues I’ve brought up.
Here’s how I might phrase that:
“I want to share responsibility with you for these issues. Can we discuss what I could have done differently to help you succeed?”
Asking simply “What can I do to help you with this?” is, I think, very weak sauce. It’s putting the burden back on the employee to define your role as their manager.
I share responsibility for the performance of my team, so I expect that every element of feedback requires an investment from me as a leader, mentor, and manager.