How Not to Get a Job

My last job search was a long, serial, waking nightmare. I started out planning a few months off to “recharge.” Those few months turned…

My last job search was a long, serial, waking nightmare. I started out planning a few months off to “recharge.” Those few months turned into two long and lonely years.

I tried everything along the way, and nothing worked. I spent months working on my resume and hours deliberating fonts. I sent it to mentors and managers who never responded. I was ghosted. I was ignored.

I choked in initial interviews. I choked in the final round. I whiffed, I shot myself in the foot, and I went down in spectacular, brilliant, flickering flames.

I got discouraged. I got depressed. I decided to change my career path. Three times. I flip-flopped between them, and then I divided my time between them. I gave tortured, introspective answers to simple questions like “What do you want to do?”

I expanded my LinkedIn profile so that it covered all the bases. I added certifications for basic skills that had tests I could pass. I added links, documents, web sites, and skills. My résumé was three pages long.

I wrote cover letters with the wrong employer’s name. I wrote cover letters with no employer’s name. I applied to jobs two levels below my last job title, and was devastated when they didn’t respond. I applied to jobs two levels above my last title. They didn’t respond either. I wrote an “Objective” that didn’t have a job title in it. My résumé was four pages long.

I was too casual in interviews. I was too formal in interviews. I didn’t learn enough about the employer, so I couldn’t say why I wanted to work there. I knew too much about the employer, so I didn’t ask interesting questions.

I started sending out as many applications as I possibly could. And it showed.

I have every advantage and a lifetime of privilege. So many people have it so much harder than me. I started out safe, healthy, and financially stable, with an amazing family and friends. I have a track record of accomplishments, mastery of skills, and colleagues to vouch for me.

It didn’t take me long to forget all of that. I convinced myself I was an empty, lonely, miserable failure. Every rejection confirmed it. My family and friends were supportive, but I didn’t believe them. Compared to the influencers and celebrities I followed, I was following from far behind.

If you’re going through anything that sounds like this, I want you to know that you’re not alone. A story that starts this way turns out well in the end. I never felt like more of a loser than when I was on the verge of my biggest wins.

People don’t write about their failures, because failures don’t get likes. But you need to like your failures if you’re going to survive. Laugh at your mistakes and celebrate rejection. Share your failure stories with me, and I’ll tell you mine.

Sometimes you have to do everything wrong before you can do anything right. If you don’t get the job, you got better at the job search. Keep getting better long enough, and you’ll start to win. The only way to lose is to quit.