How to Fire Anyone | Part 1 of 3
The stakes don't get much higher than this. Here's how to do a firing with compassion and grace.
Managers have a duty of care—a responsibility to avoid unnecessary harm to their employees. This responsibility does not end when that person’s job performance falters. After handling countless firings and “performance improvement plans” (PIPs), I’ve learned that difficult conversations are made worse by inexperienced or poorly-prepared leaders. I’ll share some specific steps for making this process more compassionate and humane.
It would be nice if we could avoid firings altogether. But we can’t. If we stopped firing people, we’d have to stop hiring them too. Managers need to be able to remove from their teams people who aren’t performing well. That’s essential in order to build effective teams and help companies grow.
Anybody who’s gone through it knows that a firing puts a workers’s mental health at risk. We should insist that managers are trained for the task, and we should expect them to do it well.
I’ve seen unprepared managers go into difficult conversations before fully committing themselves to the outcome. That’s a recipe for disaster. A leader reveals insufficient conviction if they make the terrible decision to present their case to the employee, as though it requires their approval. The recipient of this argument is unlikely to be persuaded. This conversation should never happen.
I’ve heard of cases where a manager conducts what sounds like an impromptu arraignment. The worker’s misdeeds are read out to them, as the case for firing them is tediously built up. The employee feels compelled to defend against the unnecessary prosecution. It’s a thoughtless act that serves no practical purpose. If the purpose is to make the manager feel righteous, it’s no longer thoughtless but cruel.
In either case the employee’s dignity is squandered. It’s the poorly-prepared manager who should really feel disgraced.
Firing Well
Firing can be done with empathy and compassion. I haven’t always lived up to this standard myself. It’s easy to make errors. I don’t remember ever being trained on how to do it. Managers are obligated to perform this task with great care. I’ve resolved to make it the one aspect of my work that I undertake only when I’m ready to give it the full attention of my craft.
Starting with the PIP, the process used by companies to terminate employees is designed to minimize risk for the employer. There’s no reason that it cannot also be done with concern for the dignity of the employee. A manager can choose to slouch towards the process with dread, or they can engage it with optimism, alacrity, and clarity of purpose. A thoughtful manager understands the need for speed and transparency and sees that the process is completed as swiftly as possible.
How-To
A manager must be well-prepared for any high-stakes conversation. There is no excuse for an untrained or inexperienced leader to be put into a PIP or a firing situation. An ill-equipped manager should be seen as an imminent threat to the affected employee’s mental health.
A firing or a PIP conversation should take not one minute longer than absolutely necessary. It’s like a root canal in this respect – faster is better. 10 minutes should be enough time. 20 minutes is probably too long. I’ll start with “This is going to be a difficult conversation.” The most important fact (“Your employment is being terminated” or “Today we’re discussing your PIP”) will be the very next words out of my mouth. Provide a few moments for that news to settle before you say anything else.
In this conversation there will be no discussion of reasons. They should have been amply discussed and documented by now. If the employee asks, I’ll say “We’re taking this step for reasons related to your job performance.” If they press further, I might say “We’re beyond the point of discussing your past performance. Today we’re talking about (PIP or separation.)”
At this point, I usually find it helpful to say ”I need you to know that this decision is final and will not be altered.” Does that sound unkind? It’s not. Clear is kind. Any cavitation, apology, or deflection, even if well-meaning, will be experienced by the recipient as insincere, unnecessary, and potentially humiliating. Be brief, and be driven by your sense of purpose, which is to build a better team. That’s important work.
Here’s a tip on handling a firing humanely. When surprise-destroying somebody’s life, do not deliver the news and then ask “Do you have any questions?” Instead, say “This has been a lot, so let’s end the meeting here. I’ll follow up later by email and see if you have any questions.” There is no law against being a human being in this meeting. You can say “I know this is difficult. I can see you’re upset. If you want to go home, or cancel some meetings while you process this, I would encourage that.”
How Not To
A firm word to the professional manager: Do not tell an upset person that you’re also upset, even if you are. Do not say that this was a difficult decision for you, even if it was. Do not say that you fought for them, even if you did.
You are a compassionate human being. It’s understandable to want to reveal your humanity to the person who is suffering this experience. You’re also a professional, and you’re the more powerful person in the room.
These are profoundly unprofessional things for the more powerful person to say to somebody who is being fired. You’ll undermine your integrity and agency as a manager acting with purpose. Do not center yourself. Center the experience of the employee, and get your job done.
Firing Poorly
The worst way to fire somebody is to do it too late. A manager does harm through firing by not doing it when they’re supposed to. The damage caused by a “failure to fire” reverberates through the entire team, department, or company, often for years. A leader makes this problem worse by limiting the ability of managers under them to make the necessary firing decisions.
I often hear from managers with employees who have excellent skills, but chronic long-term performance problems arising from bad habits in need of breaking. These could be poor attendance or punctuality, deficient interpersonal skills, or a continuous struggle to meet deadlines due to lack of organizational skills or professional discipline.
Employees survive in their jobs with persistent bad habits for only one reason: managers allowed it. The PIP/firing process is the appropriate tool to help a faltering employee help themselves. It’s never too late for a manger to address a problem. Like a firing, this should be done with a firm and humane hand.
Step 1 is to have a warm and supportive but serious conversation with the employee. Explain that resolving the issue is now an essential precondition for their continued employment. Prior indulgences will no longer be offered. Describe the bad behavior in writing. Ask the employee to identify any further support they need to address the issue. Tell them “This is serious. It could lead to your termination.”
If that doesn’t have the intended result, Step 2 is a PIP. Your HR department will provide you with a script. You’ve laid some groundwork in Step 1. You’ll define the deficiencies and consequences in greater detail. You’ll make it clear that the consequences for failure are termination of employment on or around a particular date. Remember: clear is kind.
And Step 3 is, well, we all know what step 3 is. Termination is of course the last resort. It should not come to that, but you must not commence with Step 1 unless and until you are fully committed to seeing it through to Step 3. You will never be more prepared for a firing than if you’ve clearly and carefully led the employee through the steps necessary to avoid it.
PIP and Firing Quotas
Firing quotas present some interesting problems. They’re challenging even when they’re re-branding as “attrition targets” which I have to admit is an almost Orwellian masterstroke.
Whatever you call them, they’re often given as an example of intrinsically inhumane and brutal practices of the largest, most ruthless companies. Quotas certainly make for a uniquely Faustian tension between managers and their teams.
Some pressure is relieved when the targets are managed well up the org chart by leaders who oversee larger groups of employees. A mid-level manager may find the need for a quota-driven firing arises only infrequently. Others may find it a routine part of the annual performance management process.
Anxious managers with firing quotas may imagine hand-wringing, gut-wrenching scenarios. How will I choose between two golden-hearted high-performing people? A nervous boss might choose to maintain their distance and avoid letting anyone get too close, like a practiced summer camp counselor. They may avoid giving positive feedback that could undermine a PIP or be misinterpreted by a employee as… I don’t know, hope?
In a realistic scenario we might envision a manager who needs to PIP one or two people out of 20 or 30 each year. Sometimes an individual seems intent on breaking into that particular jail. The worst performer nominates themself by breaking rules, failing tests, and missing deadlines. The manager’s worst job sometimes does itself.
A 6% attrition target for a team of 20 rounds down to 1 whole person who must be fired each year. This one person out of twenty is, well, the least best.
Is that you, dear reader? No? Good! Then we should fire them. When we do, we should do it really well. Let’s do it respectfully, humanely, and intentionally. Let’s do it with the same dignity and grace that we’d expect if we found ourselves in that same position.
If managers act with compassion and integrity, harm to the employee can be limited. A firing is always unpleasant but it need not always be a tragedy. Firing quotas are less evil if they’re properly handled by a trustworthy manager acting with integrity.
On the other hand, a manager who is unprepared or untrained may act without conviction or clarity of purpose. They can make a difficult situation much worse.
The Hard Parts
Identifying poor performers is an unenviable task. Managers sometimes claim that there are none on their team. It’s The Lake Wobegon Effect — the belief that an entire population is above-average. It affects a loyal leader who cares about their team, but who is perhaps not very good at math.
A manager who is looking to protect their team is to be applauded. I prefer that to the manager whose instinct seems intent on fitting their entire team underneath a bus. I do grow impatient with managers who cannot identify any poor performers — even one out of twenty? If you can’t identify the worst performer out of 20, you are not the manager. You’re the attendance-taker.
I have limitless empathy for these difficult aspects of the manager’s job. It’s important to remember that those burdens are delivered with some enviable privilege. If you’re at risk of losing sight of that, here’s an exercise to help.
Step away from your desk and go look out the window for a moment. Do you see a long line of people shivering out there? Those are applicants hopefully applying for a job as a manager at your company. Each is eager for the chance to lead a team like yours. Each is ready to make a tough call like this.
If you aren’t feeling up to making tough management decisions, consider stepping aside and giving someone else a chance.
Our responsibility as leaders is to perform our jobs with integrity and purpose. We avoid causing harm whenever we can, and minimize the damage in situations where we can’t. That’s what is meant by the manager’s duty of care.
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