Admit You’re Wrong: Unwritten Rules for Managers
It’s said that to be a good manager, there are many unwritten rules.
That seemed silly. So I set out to write them down. ️
After years of research, I’ve developed these 10 Unwritten Rules for Managers.
I hope they help you become the manager your team needs. If they don’t, you should break them. The rules, I mean. Not your team.
Admit When You’re Wrong. You know what’s hard to find? A leader who promptly admits their mistake, and then says what they’ll do to fix it. If you want to know what people are looking for in a leader today, they are looking for this right here.☝️
What, not How: A manager should describe outcomes, not output. If you must ask for things to be done a certain way, please provide an illustrative example. But generally, you should not. For those who do too often, a very special job title is reserved: micromanager. 🔬
See Potential. Never tell somebody what they cannot achieve. Be the kind of leader who believes that, given the opportunity, anybody can do anything. Then be the person to provide the opportunity, and help them achieve it. People want to believe in someone who believes in them. 🚀
Unconscious & Systemic Bias. Even if all of our hearts are made of pure solid gold, other forms of bias resist our efforts towards justice. We need continuous & accountable investment in diversity programs. We need leaders who are steady & vigilant allies. That’s you! 💪
Positive Feedback. Ok, hear me out. The idea: radically constructive criticism. The time: now. Try it! “More like this, pls” instead of “That didn’t work.” Measure the weight of your words. Offer them with grace. Try questions: “Why a dinosaur?” or “What else did you try?”🙋
Tell the Truth. Believe it or not, senior execs do eventually tire of being told what they want to hear. Leaders value someone who’ll tell it like it is. The real magic is knowing how and when to say a thing that must be said, but nobody wants to hear. 🪄
Pour Concrete. “Comfortable with ambiguity” is a 🚩 (it’s a red flag, boomer!) if your boss never bothered to write a basic job description. It’s a chore, but c’mon. Let’s sit down, open a Gdoc, and make some choices together. It’s not perfect, but we got on the same page. 📄
Professional Distance. Healthy teams operate on courtesy and respect. People want a friendly manager, but a manager cannot be everybody’s friend. Lunch or a beer is fine. As a general rule, it’s probably best if it ends there. Peace out early from team drinks, just go home. 🍻
Give Credit. A good leader gives credit, recognition, and praise as frequently, sincerely, and specifically as possible. You can’t do this too often, but it’s often done not nearly enough. Write an email thanking someone for their contribution, and CC their manager too. 🤗
Respect at Every Level. Leaders set an example by showing respect for people with a little less privilege. Recognize those whose work might not get noticed. Learn something about their work, and you might learn something about them. You might learn something about yourself. 👊