The Love Languages of Business Executives
What if we put as much care into how we talk to each other at work as we do when we're talking to the people we love?
[I wrote this piece while laughing at myself and my own bad behavior over the years. I hope you read this thinking about the kind of leader you want to be.]
According to bestselling author Gary Chapman, there are five “love languages” we use to communicate our love for one another.
It’s no different in business. I call these “Executive Love Languages.” Take a look and ask yourself, which love language does my executive speak?
🏢 Exec Love Language #1: Reorgs
Reorgs are the original love language of business leaders. Reorgs offer leaders the promise of making an indelible mark, at least until it’s erased when the next one lands in January.
Like Hermit crabs in the Spring, workers nervously align with their strange new managers. Managers are optimistic that the addition of a few brilliant Scrabble tiles, although selected seemingly at random, might unlock the completion of a truly amazing word.
Sadly, the one boss that really needed changing somehow never is. And the one thing that was really needed fixing somehow still is not.
⚔️ Exec Love Language #2: Czars & Czarinas
Only the king-maker is more powerful than the king. Some kings seem to enjoy minting fresh royals as quickly as they can. But tracking each new appointees can turn into quite a chore.
Some assignments, made in haste, may be given out more than once. Two delegates may arrive at a meeting to find they’ve been given the same task. Oh dear. This must be resolved before the meeting can begin.
A duel will be held. It’s arranged and officiated with somber efficiency. The vanquished receives a dignified disposition. The HR department ensures their heirs will be looked after.
The conference room may be unavailable until it can be tidied. It will be a bit roomier with one chair removed.
🎨 Exec Love Language #3: Paper Napkins & Prototypes
Building real things is tedious and complicated. Imagine the impossible instead — it’s fast and it’s fun! You can do it anywhere: while drinking in a bar, smoking on the slopes, or while eating edibles and driving in your car.
Get those kids in Tribeca to code something. Doesn’t the AI just do the coding now, anyway? So they should be able to get it done over the weekend, right?
It’s fine to cook up ideas that have no relationship to what’s actually happening here on planet Earth. Send the ideas out to the whole team at 3am. We are all in this together team.
Make sure to not to consult with anybody first who might be too bogged down with adult consensus reality. They’ll just slow you down.
Go fast and break things! It works in the movies.
🖍 Exec Love Language #4: Made-Up Words
Executives who are driving business expantiation at scale work with ideas far weightier than tiny normal words can bear.
There is no grammar in a recession. Winners make their own rules!
They aren’t afraid to innovitate with the language and they don’t shy away from megaperbole to make a point.
Blake has been a real leaninner on this. I’m hoping they start to osmotate on the rest of the team.
🛩 Exec Love Language #5: Boondoggles
We need metaverse strategy, people. Let’s have an offsite in Hawaii, NO WAIT Aspen! My college roommate is CEO of a company that does 3D printed hoodies. Murphy, would you email them please? See if they can print our logo real big, like, bigger than the hoodie.
We’ll get to Aspen and we’ll all go into the metaverse. Inside, I’ll give everybody their own custom sneakers NO WAIT everybody will get a giant Sharpie marker the size of a Christmas tree. And everybody will get a giant notebook as big as a trampoline.
We will draw our giant ideas with the giant marker in the giant notebook. Then we will use our iPhones to take pictures of NO WAIT Murphy do you know if we can use our phones in the metaverse?
A very smart co-worker (let’s call her T) got me thinking about “love languages” in business. She pointed out that leaders often use and re-use a specific tool for a specific task.
If you recognize this pattern, maybe you’ve learned a new language that you can use to talk to that boss.
You might say “I noticed you brought in consultants on a couple of projects. That’s so interesting. Tell me more about your approach?” or “Obviously everybody is talking about the reorg. When things settle down I would love to hear more about the bigger picture.”
Maybe this sparks an interesting conversation with the executive in your life.
I hope it’s helpful. Let me know how it goes.