Advice Column #4: Survivor's Guilt + Subscriber Bonus
Advice Column #4: Survivor's Guilt + Subscriber Bonus
How am I supposed to feel about all of this suffering?
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Dear Bizlet: A ton of people were laid off from my company. I can’t help feeling that many of them were a lot better at their jobs than I am at mine. One woman has two Master’s degrees, four kids, and was on maternity leave, and now she’s got no job. I feel terrible because I’ve only been working here for four months. Why do I have a job and she doesn’t? I guess I have survivor’s guilt. How am I supposed to feel about this? —Jessica
Dear Jessica: Before I address the question of how you’re supposed to feel, let’s see if the leaders of the companies who have been doing the firing have given any signals as to how they want their employees to feel as their colleagues lose their jobs.
One billionaire CEO of several large companies encouraged employees to double down or GTFO:
[to] succeed in an increasingly competitive world, we will need to be extremely hardcore. This will mean working long hours at high intensity. Only exceptional performance will constitute a passing grade..If you are sure that you want to be part of the new Twitter, please click yes on the link below:
Anyone who has not done so by 5pm ET tomorrow will receive three months of severance.
Another billionaire founder of several big companies says that consumers should make sure the recession doesn’t interfere with their ability to continue shopping:
If you were going to make a purchase, maybe slow down that purchase a little bit. Keep some dry powder on hand and wait a bit…
Another billionaire CEO generously allowed the employees who weren’t fired to WFH… for the rest of the day:
Please take good care of yourselves as you absorb this difficult news. As part of that, if you are just starting your work day, please feel free to work from home today.
Mark Zuckerberg’s statement was interesting, it was a little bit different. Check out this, readers:
I want to take accountability for these decisions and for how we got here. I know this is tough for everyone, and I’m especially sorry to those impacted.…This is a sad moment, and there’s no way around that…To those who are staying, I know this is a difficult time for you too…Not only are we saying goodbye to people we’ve worked closely with, but many of you also feel uncertainty about the future.
This guy takes some heat, but here is a display of emotional intelligence that I think is remarkable. It might not matter much to those who have lost their jobs. If I worked at this company, it could matter to me.
It’s a sign of self-awareness, empathy, and a meaningful signal of engagement with values that matter to people.
These are the things that could matter to our letter-writer. The emotional jeopardy is real for her, as real as the financial loss that’s impacted her colleagues.
Jessica, I cannot tell you how to feel. I do know that you’re not at fault for taking up resources that deprived your co-workers of their jobs.
The positive contribution that you’re making is helping the company become successful. That’s what’s made you successful so far in your career. That’s why the company hired you. Draw confidence from your competence.
I also want you to think about how you can earn compensation from your employer that they cannot take away. Can you develop skills that will have lifelong value? Can you get more training that they’ll pay for?
Do everything you can to develop your professional network. Publishing content builds your reputation. Prioritize your mental health and wellness as you perform in your role. Could you go back to school and further get your education or get another degree? Last I checked, when they fire you, your degrees go with you.
The survivor’s guilt you’re talking about could be a sign that your identity is getting a little too mixed up with your employer’s. Keep a healthy balance in how you see yourself by continuously investing in your professional identity outside of work.
Stay connected with the people who’ve left your company. Reach out to them a month or two after they’ve separated. Write some recommendations. Make some introductions once they’ve got their profiles sorted out.
An offer of coffee or lunch will feel a lot more generous a month or two after the layoffs have happened. Things look a lot different to somebody who is waist deep in the job search than it does the week that it happened.
You’re not guilty, Jessica. But you might feel less guilty if you’re acting less guilty. What’s worked for me is getting more invested in relationships that make me feel more like part of a professional community and less like part of a conglomerate.
I think the feeling you have now is what it feels like to be part of the company that did what it did to the folks who lost those jobs. I’m not saying you’re supposed to walk away from that, but try to find some balance for it in your identity.
Stay safe at work, Jessica, and stay well.
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