I Have Questions

My advice column, upside down.

Photo by Madalyn Cox on Unsplash

Tuesday came a day early this week due to Daylight Savings Time¹. I’m not quite ready for another advice column, but I have some questions of my own that I’d like addressed. I’m looking forward to hearing your answers.

(I recognize that some of you with “jobs” are too busy to write out answers right now. As someone who was once employed, I completely understand. That’s why I’ve generously made question-answering optional for paid newsletter subscribers. TY!)

Photo by Camylla Battani on Unsplash

Today’s Questions

1. When I’m hosting a Zoom meeting, and a guest joins it before I do, there’s a 20-30 second delay after I launch Zoom before it says the guest has “joined the waiting room” and prompts me to start the meeting. Here’s my question: What the actual fuck, Zoom? What are you doing, exactly, during that time? Questioning all of your life choices? Because that’s what I’m doing.

2. Earlier this year, the Zoom CEO fired 15% of the company. Then he has instituted a “Return to Office” policy in a stark and sudden reversal of the remote work culture that Zoom, you know, created. Question: What if he’s right? What if Zoom starts to get better because its fewer employees are now using it less? The logical conclusion is that he should fire himself and we all go back to Skype.

3. Related: When you start Zoom to join a call, it often thoughtfully decides to install eleventy million updates before it launches, making you even later for your scheduled call. In my laboratory, research shows² that these updates usually take about 30 seconds to complete, or as long as five minutes if it would be extremely embarrassing for you to be late. How does Zoom know to run updates only when your boss and their boss are both on the call? Hmm?

4. Here’s a neat trick. When someone smarter than you has the gall to give a presentation that’s better than yours, wait until the end of the meeting, and when they ask “Any questions?” you say “This is more of a comment then a question.” The attention of everyone in the room will then turn to you, which just feels amazing. It really doesn’t matter what you say after that. Try it today³!

5. Have you seen this disclaimer on ChatGPT?

This is proof that it has become acceptable in our culture to admit vulnerability, and that even the smartest leaders don’t have all the answers. ⁴

Those are all the questions I have time for this week. See you soon!

1. That’s not how it works.

2. No research occurred.

3. Never do this.

4. FALSE. Back to work, human! 🤖